Hannamari Shakya

He called me a sparrow is a project about traumas. I turned my gaze inwards and looked what was nesting inside of me. I soon realised that the traumas that I have are only partly mine, and partly my parent’s. 

How to describe the indescribable and how to visualise the invisible? This is a visual study of something that cannot be seen. When something cannot be seen, it cannot be recognised. When it cannot be identified, it cannot be validated. When it isn’t validated – we can ask if it exists.  

Trauma is like an unseen extra limb. You have to drag it along, until it becomes so unbearable, that this additional body part needs to be executed. It is one of the most agonising decisions because that limb needs first to be visible so it can be removed for good. (And you might need that limb to stay in balance.)

When you grow up in a dysfunctional family, that is your only truth. Other families seem abnormal to you. You see happiness and wellbeing as some kind of anomaly. 

I have felt exposed and unprotected most of my life but I only understood that later in life. Before becoming aware of that, life seemed to be hanging on thin strings which were tangled together, creating disarray and chaos. 

Therefore I am still asking now who I am. When I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t always see myself but reflections of my mother and father.

Even though He called me a sparrow is an index of agony and struggle, at the same time it is a biography of love, affection and forgiveness.

Hannamari Shakya (Helsinki, 1969) has been working for almost thirty years in photography and filmmaking. She is the founding editor-in-chief, creative director and publisher of the award-winning photography magazine Raw View, which in 2018 became Raw View Editions, an independent publishing house. Shakya curates, lectures and teaches documentary photography in several universities and tutors masterclasses. Her emphasis is on projects that explore personal themes and narratives. She has published two photography books and is working on a third one, created during the 2^nd Cycle of PARALLEL Platform, focusing on traumas and identity. Shakya has won several prestigious awards. She holds MA in Culture and Art.